moving right along

so it's been over a week since the st patrick's day show. it was kind of embarrassing. i had realized that day that i didn't have confirmation from either of our headliners that they would be on the show since the other comic was the one that was in touch with them. (side note: from spending a lot of time at the club i see a lot of comics put on shows and i see a lot of them get really obsessed and really hound people about details - how many reservations they have, how much they're promoting, etc and i would always think "man, they should relax, i'm sure everything is going to work out" but now i know why they're like that... they're responsible for this entire event and a part of their reputation is riding on it) so i should have taken more responsibility from the beginning instead of assuming that any one else would be handling any part of it. also earlier in the day i received a call from the gentleman that fills in the back 30 minutes of a 90 minutes show saying that one of the comics was sick but had a friend in town that he'd like to take his spot. and since this particular comic that was sick is influential in the club it's very silly to be unaccepting of any of his suggestions. so i arrive at the club, and give them the low-down that i didn't promote as much as i thought i would be able to and that i didn't know if the headliners would show up and that there was a last-minute substitution. The manager said that one of the headliners had called in and would be there and that there were some reservations for the show i didn't know about, so a little good news. once the doors open people show up slowly and ended up with about 40 people in the audience which is really small but more than i expected so thank you, jesus. a couple comics that were booked on the back end of the show were a little stressed and worrisome about it being a clean show and that some of the people i had invited from church which came across with low energy and i was frustrated that they were annoyed with it. another comedian that i was unfamiliar with showed up and many of the comics vouched for his reputation and asked if he could have stage time, which i complied with since one of the headliners never showed and since the friend of the sick comic never showed. so the fill-in took the stage then the headliner took the stage and about halfway through his set, the dude's friend arrives and i of course have to give him stage time and stretch the show longer than it should go. we finally close the show and attempt a tip bucket which i don't know how good that idea was... so i don't think the club made much money and i didn't make much money and everyone left a little frustrated and annoyed. the next day i woke up completely sick with a pounding headache, stuffed sinuses, aching body and nausea. i haven't been on stage or even to a comedy show since then.

i haven't had much time for creating any art lately outside of the flyers for the shows i'm doing. now that we have our own place i have a lot of space to set up my easel and do some painting. i have space, but not time. comedy is very time consuming and now that i have the opportunity to spend time on my art i'd much rather develop those skills as it's so much more fulfilling. my buddy !b has been helping me out in both departments, comedy and design. and i feel like i'm disappointing him a bit by taking a break from the comedy but in reality at the end of the day i have to chase my own dreams, not someone else's. i'd much rather be an artist than a comedian. and though the pressure is still there for the approval of the public at least i can spend time improving my work and creating something i'm happy with before leaving my house... while in comedy we have to succeed and fail in front of an audience in order to improve. and although i'm no where near being a pro at either one i'd rather dedicate all of my free time into creating art. it's where my heart is.

i really love the area that i live in right now and the small town atmosphere really reminds me a lot of life in siloam springs. a friend of mine lives right around the corner from me and we've been spending a lot of time hanging out together and helping each other move in to our apartments, walking to local restraunts and coffee shops. it really makes it feel like a real neighborhood having a great neighbor. and like i told her the other night, i feel like i'm being who i always wanted to be... and i'm allowing myself all these wonderful parts in life that i've always wanted to have.