relationships

one that's been pervading my thoughts a lot is my relationship with comedy... to give a history of our relationship i had brief, playful flirtations with comedy in high school drama but the full on fling began when my husband prodded me to introduce myself last year. i was infatuated... but it scared me so i took it down a notch and kept my distance for a few months. it wasn't too long before i decided i couldn't stay away and dove head over heels into what was some sort of passionate existence - spending every moment i could on the stage, spending hours in traffic, leaving work early sacrificing different parts of my life for these brief encounters that left me breathless. comedy revealed to me things that i had no idea about myself and taught me principles and awareness that i didn't even know i was lacking. my brain was moving without rest, thinking of different ideas that comedy would like, activities we could do together to keep things fresh and of course a lot of those ideas didn't pan out... comedy would get annoyed with me or disappointed when i failed. those failures began to wear on me until eventually all i could see was how i was incomplete, young and inexperienced. the stress became too much, and the communication started to break down. i didn't listen when comedy spoke to me, i just assumed that it was angry, stressing out and stomping my feet only further proving my immaturity. comedy and i began to grow apart until now where we don't even speak to each other. i don't really want to see our mutual friends for a while because it still hurts too much. though my husband is still close with it and i ask him how comedy is doing from time to time but i'm not ready yet to return to those places where we were so close. those locations where we spent those precious moments together laughing, crying, brooding... but i know that eventually my heart will heal and i'll be able to move on and we can have a healthy friendship. for now the wounds are still too fresh.